She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
