yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
