You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
