I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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