Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
