he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
