My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
