she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
did i walk over a car last night?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
