therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
