I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
