There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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