He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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