I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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