hell yes lets make some ravioli
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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