He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
