Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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