He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
