Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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