sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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