She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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