Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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