You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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