Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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