i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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