he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
