I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
