She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
