it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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