I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
