Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
