You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
