He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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