i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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