I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Couch. On fire.
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