I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize