This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
