whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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