well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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