$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
