Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
