i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize