i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
