Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
