My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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