Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
