Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
handjob tips. give me some.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
