Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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