Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
