If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
