I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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