My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
