there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
