Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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