Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
