Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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