I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
